Surgery Lessons #1 ~ the Truth Unveiled

So you're going under the knife. First time maybe, maybe not. Still your anxious. General anesthesia can be scary. Will you wake up? Is it really like Grey's Anatomy? Many of you may or may not know, that i am a nurse in the operating room. It's going on six years now and i like to think i pretty much know the ropes. The ins and outs if you will. My experience doesn't just lie in doing the work but i've also had a few surgeries myself. I've decided to let you all in on some surgery secrets..okay they are not all really "secrets" but more like advice and the truth about what goes on when you are under. So grab your pencils and take notes!

~Yes, you will wake up, unless of course you are on the brink of death before getting put under. In my years of doing this, i have only lost 2 patients on the table. One to a heartattack and the other to a flesh-eating bacteria. Don't worry, you will wake up.

~Its nothing like Grey's Anatomy!! We are not having sex in the call room. We are not all having sex or relations with each other. Unfortunately, none of the docs look like McDreamy either.

~Oh and the men and women have separate locker rooms too!

~Surgeons do not yell and scream at us or throw instruments. Its not allowed. Sure, they get pissed and frustrated but they are not swearing or yelling at us. They may yell in frustration but who wouldn't?

~I've seen more penises and vaginas than i really care to share. Believe me when i say, we aren't the slightest bit interested in your "down there" region. So, relax.

~When you are asleep, we are not talking about you.

~Yes, we listen to music. Not classical crap either. Its usually surgeons preference, but some don't care at all. I admit to bopping around the O.R. to some Kanye West at times. I even work with a neurosurgeon who brings his I-Pod in full of techno music. He says it relaxes him. Yep, techno! But he does great work so bring it on!

~When they tell you "No food or drink after midnight," that doesn't mean you can have coffee or juice or a couple crackers. Its means Nothing At All.

~Please, please, clean out your belly buttons when you are in the shower. You dont know how many times we pick stuff out of belly buttons before we start. (Instant gag reflex) Gross!!

~Ladies, if you are coming in for surgery, shave your legs and your pits.

~Its not all bloody and gory like depicted on tv and in movies. Patients are draped out so that the only part you see is the small part of the body you are working on. Blood and guts are not going everywhere...its very controlled, and not that gross.

Thats all for now! If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.

Class Dismissed!

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Trip to the ER

At work they just finished renovating the OR (where I work). The floors are brand new and pretty slippery when wet. So yesterday, i went out to scrub at the sink and there was a puddle of water that i didn't see (of course) and slipped and caught myself on the scrub sink. I smashed the left side of my abdomen, right under my ribs, on the sink. I went and told the necessary people that i had slipped but i thought that i was fine. It hurt but it would go away.

Right?

Not my luck.

I scrubbed into surgery and as i was standing there the pain got progressively worse. After about 40minutes i started to cry because the pain was so intense. It was this awful stabbing pain. The surgeon i was working with was concerned about my liver. I left the OR in a wheelchair and was brought down to the ER.

Now anyone who has ever been to the ER knows that things do not move fast down there. You are pretty much guaranteed to sit there for hours! Well not me yesterday! The ER dr. was so concerned that i had lacerated my liver and was internally bleeding that everything moved right along. At first they thought i would need an x-ray because maybe i had broken my ribs, but when i was examined it wasn't my ribs that hurt but right underneath where my liver is. So a CAT scan it is!

So they make me drink this contrast and its my choice of which clear liquid i want to mix it with. Apple juice, ginger ale, or cranberry juice. So i choose ginger ale. The nurse tells me that you can't really taste it anyways.

Um...yeah, he lied.

Maybe i should've chosen a different clear liquid.

It was nasty! That's all i can describe it as.

You are supposed to drink this giant, disgusting drink of contrast over a period of two hours but because they thought i was internally bleeding i only drank one cup full and was whisked off to CAT scan.

In CAT scan i climb up on the bed and lay there. The nurse begins to tell me that they are going to inject me with some contrast through my IV that is going to make me feel like i'm peeing my pants. What? Ok!

They begin the scan and inject me with the contrast. I suddenly got this warm sensation in my throat that worked its way down my body. Yup, i felt like i was peeing my pants! It was the weirdest most uncomfortable warm feeling ever! I was glad when the scan was over.

So back to the ER i went to await my results. Boy i hope i didn't lacerate my liver. I don't want to be admitted and spend a couple days in the hospital...all alone.

In comes Dr.

No internal bleeding! Yay!

However, there is a hematoma on my liver but its not bleeding. They give me vicodin, tell me to rest and take it easy, and no work until next monday.

So, now i'm home, sore with a bruised liver and all doped up on pain meds. And that was my trip to the ER.

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