Thank You Senator Kennedy

Today I was lucky enough to witness history. Not only myself but my son too. And even though it may not mean anything to him now, in the future it will. It was one of those unforgettable once in a lifetime moments.

Yesterday Senator Ted Kennedy passed away in the early morning hours. Ted Kennedy did a lot for our state of Massachusetts. Whether you are democrat, republican, liberal, or even green you can not deny the fact that he was passionate about the causes he believed in and was a great man. And in true Kennedy fashion they held a procession from Hyannisport all the way to Boston. Since I live right next to a major highway I took Hunter and walked to the side of the highway.

I was amazed at how many people were standing on the overpasses and even on the side of the highway where we were, just waiting for them to go by. People were even pulled over on the highway and got out of there cars just to watch. When they did finally drive by us, the windows in the motorcade were down and they were waving out the windows to all the people showing support. It really made me realized that they are truly thankful and grateful that of the outpouring of love shown by the American people. I watched all the cars go by and tears started to flow. The realization that this will be his last trip. I actually feel really lucky that i was able to witness this event. It gives me both American and Massachusetts pride.


Here is the video that Hunter shot for me:


This is one of those moments where in the future both myself and Hunter will be able to look back on and say, "We were standing on the side of the highway watching." To me, I just witnessed history and that is awesome.


Look at all the people waiting on the overpass:

Here they come:

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How Many Damn Frogs Do I Have to Kiss?!

This is how I'm feeling right at this very moment:
Heartbroken, crushed, confused, and stupid.

Why?

I hate being single.

Yup, it sucks!!

Usually I don't mind because I like to do my own thing and I know I don't need a man. But today, I hate it. You see, what you don't know, is that I've been in a relationship for about two months. Until today. He decided he's not sure if he wants a relationship but has fun hanging out with me, so he needs "time". I'm no fool, I know that that means you want out and you just tried to let me down gently. Well there is nothing "gentle" about break-ups. Especially if you're the one trying to make it work and doesn't want it to end. I'm confused because things were so good, I just don't get it. And of course, I have to be a girl and start dwelling about things that I've said and think maybe i scared him off when I said "such and such". Yes, I have lots of those insert-foot-into-mouth moments. Like 20 minutes later I always think, why the hell did I say that? And wish I could somehow take it back.

I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know if I'm picking the wrong guys or if I just flat out suck at relationships. I don't know. But as I get closer to that 30 age, I'm starting to worry that I'll never settle down. And that is an honest fear of mine. Hunter is gonna be 8 this fall and I don't want him to be an only child his entire life. I want to get married. I want more kids. And I am so afraid that it's gonna be too late for me.

So here I sit, eating what's left of the gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, feeling sad and mopey. This is the only thing I've eaten all day. I barely slept last night and all I did today, up until now, was lay in bed. I hate this feeling. The dating scene sucks! Maybe I should just give up all together.

I'm on this emotional roller coaster and I can't wait for it to stop. I just really needed to get this all off my chest. And isn't that the best thing about blogging?

I think I'll watch He's Just Not that Into You tonight....seems appropriate today, huh!

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National Anthem Fenway Park

This is probably the most moving video clip I think I've ever seen. Everytime I watch it, it gives me goosebumps. It makes me proud to be from Boston but even more so this is what it means to be American.

It was Disability Awareness Day at Fenway Park in July 2007 and listen to what happens when this boy starts to get nervous and get the giggles halfway through the song.





If this doesn't move you on some level, then you should probably consider checking into therapy.

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Public Service Announcement...Don't Do Drugs

I can never work in a childrens hospital. I just did surgery on a 22 yr old boy to put a drain in his brain. He had cerebral spinal fluid building up on his brain. His roomates said he had been doing ecstasy for a month , he developed mono from it, which then led to bacterial meningitis. 22 years old. He's basically knocking on heavens door at the moment. Normally things like this don't affect me at all, i've learned over the years of doing this to detach myself, however this really kind of hit a nerve. I'm not sure if it was his age and he hadn't lived yet or because he was out having a "good" time and really had no idea what the long-term effects could be, that really bothers me. It was almost as if i watching it unfold in a movie. You always hear of these types of sad stories and think, "oh, thats so sad, too bad," but to actually experience it (even this way) gives you a whole new perspective. If he lives through this...which unfortunately is a small chance, he's not going to be anything like he used to be.
It seriously makes me want to go home and tell my seven year old never to do drugs. I feel fortunate in the sense that i can teach him how bad they really are just through what i've witnessed at work. When we brought the patient back to the ICU, his family was in the waiting area, i couldn't even look at them. It broke my heart. Such a young life....wasted. And it didnt have to be this way.
Unfortunately, bacterial meningitis is extremely contagious, so extra precautions are being taken on my behalf. Like a shower before i go home. I most certainly dont want to be taking this home to my little boy. We took off everything that we were wearing from home, i.e. earrings, watches, rings, i even put hospital socks on over my own. So, i'm actually gonna head down to the locker room to shower now...i just really needed to clear my head of all these thoughts racing through it.

So my PSA: DON'T DO DRUGS!! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!

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A sad reality

I live in a condo complex that has a pool. So the other day, Hunter and i went down to the pool for a little while. There was a little boy the same age as Hunter with his dad there. So, inevitably the boys swam together. At one point I heard the little boy ask Hunter about his dad. To which Hunter replied, "i dont have a dad." And of course the little boy starts saying ,'yes you do, everyone has a dad' and that's about the point where his father intervened.

Now, this is not an uncommon question or answer for Hunter. His father hasn't seen him in over 2 1/2 years and even before then he was always in-and-out of his life. I've always talked to him about it and explained to him that not everyone has a dad or even a mom. I always made it seem like its no big deal and for him its just the way it is he really doesn't know any different. However, i found that since he started kindergarten last year, it seems to be bothering him a lot now. I think he sees all his friends at school with their dads and feels like he's missing out on something. Now, he gets sad when he tells people he doesn't have a dad, and he'll say things like he wishes he had a dad. He knows who is father is, but since he isn't part of his life anymore he thinks he'll get a "new" dad someday. And i want you to know that he does have a father figure in his life. My grandfather, who is only 67, and Hunter are extremely close. They do so much together, and my son wants to be just like him when he grows up. I mean, they go out lobstering together, to motorcycle shows, all sorts of stuff. I couldn't ask for a better father figure for him. They are truely two peas in a pod. When they made fathers day gifts at school he made it for his papa. But even still, there is a small void in his life that neither myself nor my grandfather can fill.

It just breaks my heart.

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