Not So Religious Post

I work for a Catholic hospital. My son goes to Religious Ed once a week and will make his first communion next year. That is the extent of how religious i am. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and i refused to get ashes smudged on my forehead because....well, i am too vain to walk around all day like that. I was brought up catholic, went to catholic school, but now that i'm older, i really dont believe in half the shit they preach. Now don't get me wrong, i believe in God and Heaven and the power of prayer, but catholicism in my opinion is just way too hipocrytical for me. God loves everyone....except gays. Um...okay...and how about all the priests that served "under" God and diddled little boys. Do they still get to go to heaven?? I believe that everyone is equal no matter what. I am for gay marriage because in all honesty, what do i care? It doesn't affect me at all. I believe in a womans right to choose because well, that doesnt affect me either.

So you're probably wondering why i send Hunter to religious education if i dont believe in most of it. And my answer is simple. Catholic guilt. Yup, i would feel completely guilty if i didnt send him. I want to give him some basis for religion and when he gets older he can make up his own mind just as i have. And i will be okay with whatever he decides. He fights with me every week about going and i don't blame him one bit. I hated going too. But if i had to suffer through it, damn it, so do my kids!

During Lent, if i remember, i try not to eat meat on fridays...i end up feeling guilty if i do. I think i may have been brainwashed when i was younger to feel guilty if i didn't follow the Catholic guidelines. I'm sure i could find a church that i feel more comfortable with but then again, i would just end up feeling like i betrayed the Catholic church. I have to go to church with Hunter once a month as part of his religious ed curriculum and its the most painful hour of my month. Stand up, sit down, stand up, kneel, stand up, kneel, sit down......... Can't we just sit peacefully for the hour and daydream listen?

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