Surgery Lessons #1 ~ the Truth Unveiled

So you're going under the knife. First time maybe, maybe not. Still your anxious. General anesthesia can be scary. Will you wake up? Is it really like Grey's Anatomy? Many of you may or may not know, that i am a nurse in the operating room. It's going on six years now and i like to think i pretty much know the ropes. The ins and outs if you will. My experience doesn't just lie in doing the work but i've also had a few surgeries myself. I've decided to let you all in on some surgery secrets..okay they are not all really "secrets" but more like advice and the truth about what goes on when you are under. So grab your pencils and take notes!

~Yes, you will wake up, unless of course you are on the brink of death before getting put under. In my years of doing this, i have only lost 2 patients on the table. One to a heartattack and the other to a flesh-eating bacteria. Don't worry, you will wake up.

~Its nothing like Grey's Anatomy!! We are not having sex in the call room. We are not all having sex or relations with each other. Unfortunately, none of the docs look like McDreamy either.

~Oh and the men and women have separate locker rooms too!

~Surgeons do not yell and scream at us or throw instruments. Its not allowed. Sure, they get pissed and frustrated but they are not swearing or yelling at us. They may yell in frustration but who wouldn't?

~I've seen more penises and vaginas than i really care to share. Believe me when i say, we aren't the slightest bit interested in your "down there" region. So, relax.

~When you are asleep, we are not talking about you.

~Yes, we listen to music. Not classical crap either. Its usually surgeons preference, but some don't care at all. I admit to bopping around the O.R. to some Kanye West at times. I even work with a neurosurgeon who brings his I-Pod in full of techno music. He says it relaxes him. Yep, techno! But he does great work so bring it on!

~When they tell you "No food or drink after midnight," that doesn't mean you can have coffee or juice or a couple crackers. Its means Nothing At All.

~Please, please, clean out your belly buttons when you are in the shower. You dont know how many times we pick stuff out of belly buttons before we start. (Instant gag reflex) Gross!!

~Ladies, if you are coming in for surgery, shave your legs and your pits.

~Its not all bloody and gory like depicted on tv and in movies. Patients are draped out so that the only part you see is the small part of the body you are working on. Blood and guts are not going everywhere...its very controlled, and not that gross.

Thats all for now! If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.

Class Dismissed!