Throwing in the Towel
I feel like someone's sitting on my chest. For real. Tears keep streaming down my face and I can't seem to make them stop. I'm emotionally drained. I feel like my soul has been through the ringer. I'm having some very personal issues right now and its such a tough time for me. Actually, most of this summer has been a tough time for me.
Just when you need people the most, they split. Too consumed by their ownselves. But when does it all end? When will I hit the bottom so that I can start climbing back up?
I've been trying to find my niche in the blogosphere. I want something more....more than just my blog. And I can't seem to find it, and i'm starting to think I probably never will. I am in all honesty so close to closing my blog. I'm starting to think no one would even notice I was gone. I don't have a big following at all. I would just be another statistic....just another blogger that quit after a little more than a year of blogging. They would say, "she couldn't take the pressure." Or some stupid shit remark like that.
For a while I felt like I belonged. I felt like part of the "crowd." But just as quickly I feel like I don't belong anymore. Like an outsider. I've made some friends online, but honestly if I quit blogging today....would any of them still talk to me offline?
I'm feeling super stressed and extremely anxious and I just needed to let some stuff off my chest. Unfortunately for me....it still feels like someone is sitting there comfortably, not wanting to move.
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25 comments:
*HUGS* I'd hate to see you leave. I don't comment often, but I do come by and read fairly often and I LOVE chatting with you in the MD Forum.
UGH!!!! Shooosh I love your blog!!!!! Don't go anywhere! You can send me emails to vent :)
(((hugs)))
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I hope things get better and I truely hope you stick around. I enjoy your blog. :)
I wish I knew what to say. :(
**Hugs** I personally love reading your stuff!
Also, you can get me on google chat most of the time if you want! stitchblade on google :*
Awww honey, I'm so sorry, I wish I knew what was wrong. If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.
And uh, I'd miss you! Don't doubt for a second if you would be missed, you would be, honey. *hugs*
BLondie, to me, this reads that if you do not have something or someone to think you are great, you are not great.
That my dear is very far from the truth.
The only person that can make us feel bad about ourselves in life is ourselves. No one out there is succeeding to spite you and if you want something great, create it.
I dont look at other moms, blogs, posts, children, rich people, authors, whatever and think, i wish i was them. I think, ill be whatever i want and ill be damn great at it and they will wish they were ME.
You dont need to quit, you need to change your attitude.
trisha
What choo talkin' about Miss Blondie?!
We all love you!
I hope you feel better soon. Write a list of what you want and then a list of actionable things you can do to get there. You know we're all there for you at the md forums to help you work through it!! hugs! Sarah
Oh hun! I don't know what is going on with you, but I am here in the blogosphere and out. Love you girlie!
I'm going through this exact same thing lately. I've been crying a lot over it.
I want something bigger then what I have to offer and even blogged about it today.
Hang in there girl. I just followed you. :)
*Hugs* I hope you don't leave. I will miss your drunken vlogs.
As I was reading this I kept thinking that this post could have been written by me. I've felt the same way many many times, but I keep going because there are good times. Blogging keeps me sane! I don't think I'll ever be the one being invited to a ton of trips, or get a big opportunity with a company, or have huge stats. It took me a while to come to the conclusion that that is ok. That is not what defines me or makes me the good person I am.
I hope you find some peace with whatever decision you make.
I'm so sorry you are feeling down :( I hope you feel better soon.
Hug Ewenice.
((HUGS)) girlfriend. I'm sorry you are feeling down. It's not a good place to be and I hope you find a way to pick yourself up, because you DO have friends and we would miss you.
I told you this earlier and I am telling you again! You are worth a hell of a lot more than you think you are. The problem is that you have to SEE it! Let us momdotters help you! We love you and you will do it. Why? Because you do matter and blogging matters to you!
I'm having major issues right now too. I'm torn in like 15 difference places. I use my blog to have a happy place to come too. My blog world is a happy place. No matter what crap I'm going through, I can post about silly stuff, my vents, or new clothes.
I can also go to other blogs and read about babies taking first steps, women overcoming fertility, or cooking tips.
I do find myself checking my reader a little less right now.
We do see you, we do read you! big hugs!
{hugs}
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. People would definitely notice if you went away though. You're an amazing person, don't let anyone make you feel differently!
Girl, stop talking about all this "quitting" stuff. I just won't hear it. YA DIG??
((hugs))
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. i think you need to really do whatever makes you happy, whether it be blogging, or not blogging.
Ummm, I think you are the coolest! And I have always looked up to you and your blog. I think you need a break. You are always welcome to come to NC. I'm at the very least, entertaining!!
I know EXACTALLY how you feel!!! Hang in there! I wouldmiss you if you were gone!! xoxo
Oh girl, it's just lonely at the top. Or so I'm told. I have always thought that your blog was one of the top blogs around! I want to be more like you! I have been blogging more than a year. I understand your frustration. Crap, I can't even afford a blog makeover or my own .com because we are putting our home back together after a tornado! But I am so proud that I put my blog together on my own. Trial and error, no outside help. I have learned so much. Even though I may not be popular, I am so proud of my little blog. Don't throw in the towel. You will surely be missed.
I'm really really glad your sticking around. I mean you've got 300-something followers, I've got 9 of which you are one! Hang in there girly. This too shall pass.
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