Friendship Rules

Did you know that there were rules to friendships? Apparently I didn't read that chapter in the book about life because I suck! Had I known I would've tried to follow along with the rules a little better, ie kiss your ass. But because I don't kiss anyones ass or allow people to walk all over me.....i failed in the friendship department.

Now onto the rules that I was so stupidly unaware of:

1. Answer any and all text messages, voicemails, phone calls, and emails within 1 hour. Even if you are at a concert, at your child's school play, etc.
   


2. If you don't talk to your friends for more than a week, consider it over!


3. If your friends are nothing but nice to you and your kids, its not because they are your friends and thats how friends act....its because they are doing you a favor.


4. If your friends are insulting you and attacking you, making you cry and feel like shit....they are just telling the truth. And you should continue to allow them to try to break you down.


5. Always be available to hang out with your friends and be at their beck-and-call. Juggling your personal life, love life, and life as a mother is not as important.


6. Be careful of the little things you say because a friend NEVER forgets and will always bring it up in the future to use against you....no matter how many times you've apologized.


7. You must always attend friends functions, birthday parties, or just a night out even if your son has the Swine flu.


8. Just because your "best" friend has slept with your kids father is no reason to hate her. After all, she is their Godmother.


9. Don't try to plead your case and work things out because unless your are groveling at their feet, its a loss cause.


10. Friendships are always one-sided and its usually not your side.

Now make sure that you follow all these rules strictly or your friends will break up with you. And you can be sure that they will now delete you from all social media sites no matter how long you've been friends.